December 12, 2003
Tasteless Christmas items file
Several years ago, one of the major Mexican paper products companies offered Christmas toilet paper decorated with wreaths and Santas. This was around the time that a Christmas gift doll had to be withdrawn because it was biting people. In the spirit of the holiday season, I offer the following absolutely tasteless Christmas items. Comments are now open for further entries. Prizes to be announced at a later date.
Catholic League: Tasteless Christmas cards show anti-Christian bias
http://www.catholicleague.org/03press_releases/quarter4/031211_cards.htm
Catholic League president William Donohue complains that American Greetings is discriminating against Christmas with tasteless cards, while Hannukah and Kwanzaa are treated with great respect.
He says, “There is one where elves working with Santa’s laundry hold up his underwear and exclaim, ‘Man! You think that a guy who can deliver toys all over the world in one night could at least learn to wipe himself a bit better!’"
Also on his list are ‘Risqué’ cards showing "a woman stripping suggestively and displaying S&M gear;" ‘Rude’ cards, such as the one that lists all the annoying parts of the holiday season, with the comment, ‘It’s Christmas. Hope yours doesn’t suck.’
"What is perhaps most telling about American Greetings is the total absence of tasteless Hanukkah and Kwanzaa cards," he comments. "For a couple of decades now, there has been a systematic attempt to dilute the sacred message of Christmas while elevating the prominence of Hanukkah and Kwanzaa (a recent secular invention). This is the fruit of multiculturalism.”
Farting Santa
http://www.prankplace.com/santa.htm
Get in the spirit (and smells) of the holiday season with our jolly Pull My Finger®SANTA! The holidays will never be the same. No one can resist Santa when he sticks out his finger. 7" Seated Plush Character that shakes and makes a farting sound with 7 hilarious random remarks. BATTERIES INCLUDED!
[BREAKING: Checking this site for an illustration, it seems the fabulous Farting Santa has been removed. We've contacted Prank Place for an explanation. Stay tuned.]
Beer Can Christmas Tree
http://www.miami.com/mld/miamiherald/news/weird_news/7421802.htm
AP
[Excerpt]
SALT LAKE CITY - One woman's tree entered at a Christmas festival apparently had a little too much holiday cheer for organizers' tastes. That's why the original "Jingle Buds" - a tree made entirely of emptied beer cans - lasted about as long as a pint on nickel night.
"They called it camouflage, I call it censorship, but that was the compromise," said Carole Robinson, whose tree of 1,500 neatly organized Bud Light cans was ordered covered up with red ribbons. "I absolutely understand their concerns, but it doesn't have the pizzazz and wow that I wanted it to have."
Infectious Awareables
http://www.iawareables.com/home.htm
Another great item for your evil Christmas file brought to you as a public service by newsroom-l, Infectious Awareables, which offers neckwear and other accessories featuring images of your favorite killer germs, is featuring a "Holiday Aware-o-demic!"
"ORDER EARLY," they urge. "Be sure to catch something in time! Early remissions (N/A) include Flu C, Gonorrhea ties; also some colors of Ebola and Cholera. Herpes (removable) for the Holidays! Nearly half-price sale! Check out our Herpes ties, scarves, capz, and teez for viral bargains. BioBows are here! In response to the bowtie bunch, First design: SARS. Limited number are now available online. Outbreak 12/09/03: Anthrax now available in BioBows. CALL until posted on site."
There's a serious purpose behind the silliness, though. From their "About Us" page:
BACKGROUND:
Infectious Awareables, Inc. (IA) debuted in November of 1997 at the American Public Health Association Meeting in Indianapolis, Indiana. Since premiering its H.I.D.E. & S.E.E.K! Eight Strategies video, IA has expanded its line of awareness products to include AWAREABLES neckties, scarves, boxer shorts and the new BioNotes. IA continues to create innovative, high-impact products designed to promote awareness.
IA is a private corporation located in Encino, California, and utilizes the services of talented artists, manufacturers and suppliers worldwide.
MISSION AND PHILOSOPHY:
Our mission is threefold: to generate interest, discussion - even excitement - about serious public health issues which affect us all; to educate and provide pertinent information on these issues; and to attempt, through contributions, to support the efforts of those involved in research and education.
As you may have already guessed, Infectious Awareables, Inc. applies a unique perspective to its mission.Believing that humor can be a powerful educational tool, IA takes a slightly irreverent approach to some very serious subjects. To reach a desensitized public already gridlocked on the information superhighway, we focus on innovation, creativity and "smile power"!
Shopper Is Knocked Unconscious as Sale Begins http://www.nytimes.com/2003/11/30/national/30WALM.html?ex=1071206368&ei=1&en=dfa065c8393ca72b November 30, 2003
By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
[Excerpts]
ORANGE CITY, Fla., Nov. 29 - A mob of shoppers rushing for a sale on DVD players trampled the first woman in line and knocked her unconscious on Friday at a Wal-Mart Supercenter.
Patricia VanLester, had her eye on a $29 DVD player, but was knocked to the ground by the frenzy of shoppers behind her.
"They walked over her like a herd of elephants," her sister, Linda Ellzey, said on Saturday.
Paramedics called to the store found Ms. VanLester unconscious on top of a DVD player, surrounded by shoppers seemingly oblivious to her, said Mark O'Keefe, a spokesman for EVAC Ambulance.
She was flown to Halifax Medical Center in Daytona Beach, where doctors told her family that Ms. VanLester had suffered a seizure after she was knocked down and that she would probably remain hospitalized through the weekend, Ms. Ellzey said.
The store apologized and offered to put a DVD player on hold for her, Ms. Ellzey said.
[In a later development, a witness claimed the story was a complete hoax.]
Bad publicity sends Hitler wine sales soaring
http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_845186.html
[Excerpts]
Christmas sales of Adolf Hitler wine have reached a record high thanks to publicity generated by attempts to ban it in both Brussels and Berlin.
Wine-grower Alessandro Lunardelli started selling the bottles of Hitler wine in 1995 after the success of his Mussolini label back home in Italy.
The Hitler wine is on the market with the slogan "One People, One Empire, One Leader" and has variations with pictures of Rommel and Goering.
Lunardelli rejects any allegations that he is promoting fascism and Nazism and points out he also offers bottles with pictures of Marx, Stalin, Lenin and Che Guevara.
Posted by jules_siegel at December 12, 2003 07:37 AM | TrackBack
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